BEAST

Also, on a slightly less tasteful note, Ben Russell (of Magic Lantern Cinema fame) and I are starting a new band called BEAST, which means anything you want it to mean. Some ideas so far include Boys Engaged in Acts of Sonic Terrorism; Bloody Excrement, Alkaseltzer and Salivary Towels; Breaking Everything Anywhere Slaves Tread; Broken Enemies Acting Syrian on Television; and, of course, Beirut Engagement Asphyxiation Softball Team.

Anyway, with our unique combination of garage rock, psych-noise, and sociopathic tendencies, we're looking to get signed by a major label within the next three months. We'll then use the money to purchase some remote-detonating ballistic missiles, and, at the first stop of Lollapalooza (which we'll be headlining), fire them at the crowd, killing everyone (they'll have cyanide tips, obviously), blame Iran, reveal ourselves to be members of the Badr Brigade, leak our suicide videos onto the internet, claim political asylum in Bolivia, write the book and sell the rights back to a film production company owned by our former record label.

Our songs are mainly interpretations of early nineties 'acronym-suburb-punk' bands, i.e. DFL (dead fucking last), RKL (rich kids on lsd), etc.

Interlocutors are welcome. Please send song lyrics, manifestos, acronym interpretations, ayahuasca, bibliographies, poster designs and cocaine blues to the address listed below.